


Last Night I Dreamed That Somebody Loved Me

by Pukayio



Category: Diabolik Lovers
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But it's okay, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M, Nightmares, No Smut, Sorry Not Sorry, They love each other, shubaru, subaru's mom is a bitch, there's not enough shubaru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 09:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11460501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pukayio/pseuds/Pukayio
Summary: It's in the middle of the day that Shu is woken up by Subaru's screaming. Though he's seen it enough, he can't help but empathize with the brother he loves. It takes a few harsh yells of the other's name before he gets Subaru to wake up. That's when they need each other the most, in the vulnerable moments. The scars that Christa left on Subaru's body and mind are too great for him to be dealing with on his own. But he has Shu. The one he came to love, despite his tragic past.





	Last Night I Dreamed That Somebody Loved Me

**Author's Note:**

> title is obviously inspired by the Smiths :)
> 
> i hope you enjoy!
> 
> (optional important note at the end!)

_The halls were dark. Subaru knew the risks when he snuck out of his room, but he just had to. He couldn’t take it anymore. He was fed up with the lies and the hatred that were thrown in his face. He needed an escape. Although he knew he would never be able to completely distance himself from the Sakamaki household, he felt free by breaking the rules. Curfew was 10p.m. and it was a couple hours after that when Subaru headed to the gardens._

_The moonlight was filtering through the trees and he sucked in a breath he didn’t need. The air was calm and slightly cold but it wasn’t like he could actually feel it anyway. He enjoyed these moments. Moments of tranquility. He needed these peaceful nights once in a while or else he was sure he’d lose his mind._

_Subaru walked towards the roses that were climbing tall and mighty against the concrete wall surrounding the mansion. He liked tending to the roses, it gave him a sense of being. Like he had something under control for once in his life. He was leaning over to catch the sweet scent of red roses blooming in the night when another scent invaded his nose._

_Subaru froze on the spot and didn’t dare to turn around. How had she gotten here? Had he been too loud? But he was sure he hadn’t woken anyone up, so why…?_

_“Subaru, dear,” his mother spoke up and a shiver ran over Subaru’s spine. He slowly turned around, not knowing which side of his mother’s personality he was to face._

_“Yes, mother?” he answered once he was face to face with the woman he had to call his mother._

_“What are you doing out this late, sweetie? You know curfew has already passed.” A wicked smile started to spread on her face and Subaru clenched his jaw, he was not going to be afraid of her._

_“I… was only taking a night stroll because I couldn’t sleep,” he told her in the hopes of calming her down, but it had the opposite effect._

_“Hm, couldn’t sleep? Couldn’t_ sleep _?! You are a pureblood, Subaru, you should not need to sleep. You are—you are a mistake! That is what you are. Had your father really loved me, he wouldn’t dare do such a cruel thing to me. You have only caused trouble to this family, you are nothing but trouble and filth,” Christa yelled at her child and she felt her anger boiling when he gave no reaction._

_“Oh? Have we got nothing to say now? Are you finally aware of the fact that you have fouled my name and made me a victim of incest? You are an incest child, Subaru, don’t you know? You are disgusting! This world would be better off without you!”_

_The shouting didn’t stop and Subaru felt every word strike his heart with a knife. Although the relationship with his mother had not been all too good, he knew that she had still raised him as a son and that said something. He still found love for his mother in his heart, even as said woman was screaming her lungs out at him._

_“Mother, you need to calm down. You will wake the others.” Subaru stepped closer to Christa and she flinched back, putting her hands out. Subaru’s eyes widened and his gaze travelled down to her gloved hands where she was holding a glinting silver dagger._

_“Wha – Mother, that is very dangerous, please put it down.” Subaru tried to soothe his mother but to no avail. She was gone. The person he called mother had made room for another person inside her, a person that carried all her rage and anger and she’d let her out._

_“No. Subaru, my child, you are wrong. I am not your mother nor will I ever claim that title to be mine. I loathe you. You are a disgrace to the vampire race and the humans alike. There is no need for you here.” Christa lunged forward with her knife outstretched._

_This time, Subaru couldn’t stay indifferent about all this. He felt his own anger blaze inside of him and it fueled his emotion to run wild. He dodged his mother’s strikes and found himself pinning his mother down by her wrists, knife fallen a little to the side._

_“Good, good! Let me see that anger, dear, you know what you are capable of! If you’re not willing to die then kill me instead! I know you want to do it, Subaru, I kno—“_

_“No! You’re wrong. I have never hated you, mother. Quite the opposite, actually, and I have no intention of killing you at all!” Subaru cut off his mother._

_“Is that so?” Christa’s voice seemed calmer, but that didn’t mean less dangerous. Subaru was still on guard._

_“Well then, would you mind killing me because you love me?” she smiled sweetly and Subaru ignored the nausea that rose in his throat. He shook his head and felt Christa’s body underneath him shift. Suddenly he was the one pinned down and his mother was holding the silver dagger to his throat._

_It stung, no, it_ burned _like hell. Subaru screamed and lashed out at his mother. Why was she doing this? Had he not been good? Did she not love him as her son? Was he that much of a disgrace? A mistake? A monster?_

_“Yes! Those are the eyes I want to see! Loathe me, unleash your anger, dear. Kill me!” Christa shouted as she pressed the dagger deeper in his throat. Subaru was sure that blood started oozing out and he wouldn’t make it. He wouldn’t make it and the one to have killed him was his mother._

_“KILL ME!!!”_

_In a flash, Subaru found himself on top of his mother again and he watched in horror how she clasped his hand around the dagger and pressed it against her own throat._

_“Just kill me, you good-for-nothing bloodsucking monster that you are. You have defiled me, I am no longer worthy of living!” Christa was trashing around and cutting deeper and deeper in the flesh of her throat. Subaru tried his best to get his hand back but it wasn’t working. His mother’s strength was uncalled for._

_“KILL ME!!!” His mother cried out before she turned the dagger in their joined hands and smashed it down in her chest. And again. And again. And_ again.

_And she didn’t stop. She clasped Subaru’s hand tighter around the dagger and brought it down to her already bloody chest. The nightgown she was wearing was stained red and her eyes were rolling back in her head._

_She is going crazy, Subaru thought in horror. He desperately tried to get his hand back but to no avail. She kept stabbing herself over and over and over again._

_“NO!! Stop, you are killing yourself. Stop! Please, stop!!!” Subaru kept yelling but the words fell on deaf ears. It was all so pointless, he realized as his hand fell limp in his mother’s grip. He kept watching how his mother attempted to kill herself, blood splattering everywhere. The grass, his pants, his shirt, his face. Blood covering his hand, clouding his vision and he felt himself scream his throat raw._

_“NO!!!”_

 

 

 

 

“Subaru!”

 

“Subaru!”

 

“SUBARU!!!”

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“Subaru?”

 

“Leave, I’ll handle this.”

 

“Subaru,” Shu called and got no response from the sleeping male. He turned towards Reji in the doorway and he nodded, closing the door as he left.

 

Shu walked over to the bed where Subaru had been screaming and crying not long before, though it seemed like the youngest Sakamaki brother had finally calmed down.

 

“No… please…” Subaru sobbed and grasped at the bedsheets. Shu sighed and carefully brought a hand to his brother’s head. His fingers threaded through lavender colored locks as he watched Subaru sleep.

 

“Mom…?” Subaru muttered before a silence fell over the room and Shu closed his eyes, glad that the nightmare had finally passed.

 

“Su, are you awake?” Shu asked after a while and felt the younger stir next to him. Subaru nodded slightly and reached out for Shu, who clasped their hands tightly together.

 

“It’s okay, I’m here now, yeah?” Shu mumbled as he brought their joined hands up to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Subaru’s hand.

 

“Shu…” Subaru said, prying his eyes open. His crimson gaze held Shu’s startling blue one and they stayed like that for a while.

 

There was a knock on the door and Shu dismissed whoever was on the other side before turning to his younger brother and stroking the soft pink hair from his face.

 

“You’re so beautiful, Su.” Subaru smiled up at Shu with red dusting his cheeks, pulling his face down and kissing his lips softly. It was merely a gentle brush of lips together, a tease or a promise of what was to come.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Shu asked when they pulled apart. Subaru began to shake his head but stopped midway and reached for Shu’s shirt with tears gathering in his eyes.

 

“Y-Yes.” Shu nodded understandingly and settled them more comfortably against the pillows. Subaru heaved a sigh before explaining his dream, or rather nightmare, while seeking strength in the hand that he clasped between his own.

 

“These dreams always come and go and I’m never prepared for them,” Subaru told Shu afterwards and looked down bashfully.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with having nightmares, Subaru. As there’s nothing wrong with being afraid of your mother,” Shu said and Subaru spluttered an answer.

 

“I-I am not afraid of her! I’d rather… not be in the same room as her ever again.”

 

Shu looked at him carefully and watched the pain etched on his face. Subaru had been through a lot and the mere thought of the woman who raised him and dared to call herself a mother with the way she treated her own son, brought shivers down Shu’s spine. He’d come to love his little brother far more than could’ve been acceptable, but he found it less troublesome when he learned that Subaru felt the same way about him. It had been hard on him at first, seen as Subaru was indeed an incest child. But Shu had taught him that whoever he loved should not be an issue, because love is love. There are rights and wrongs in love too, he knew that and he told Subaru that as well. But he had no regrets and neither did his little brother. Their love was pure and endless and Shu was so glad he was contributing to Subaru’s happiness.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Subaru probed when Shu had been silent for too long. Shu looked to his side and felt himself drown in the deep red eyes that stared back at him. He leaned down and felt the younger’s breath hitch. He grinned and pressed their lips together tightly.

 

“This,” Shu whispered between a kiss. “Among other things,” he added as he reached down between them and let his hand wander dangerously close to Subaru’s crotch. But Subaru stopped him gently.

 

“Wait, no… I just want to…” Subaru started and drifted off, his hold on his brother’s hand loosening.

 

“It’s okay, I get it. We have all the time in the world, don’t worry about it.” Shu smiled and tugged his lover closer. It was no lie he told him either, they were vampires after all. They had both the blessed and cursed privilege of living as immortals.

 

Subaru hummed when his body rolled flush against Shu’s own and felt his hand rub comforting circles in the small of his back. How had he gotten so lucky? How had he deserved this man to be his?

 

“I love you,” Subaru murmured, hot breath ghosting over Shu’s exposed neck. “God, I really love you.”

 

Shu smiled. It was not often that his younger brother told him he loved him, so he bathed in the blissful moments when he did say the words. He hugged Subaru closer, if possible, and pressed a kiss to his temple.

 

“I love you too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Fanfiction.net : [FanficDevil]
> 
> Wattpad.com : [DevillishReads]
> 
> i felt the need to tell you that everyone is allowed their own opinion on incest and i just want to make clear that Subaru has a different mother than Shu (which doesn't really mean it isn't incest, but still) and that their both men, which means they wouldn't have any issues with offspring. i also want to add that their relationship is a 100% consensual and that this is, above all else, a fanfiction.
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading loviesss!


End file.
